IT Haikus

Clueless user wants,
the Office Paperclip back,
What is wrong with you?

Your server froze up,
kiss your documents goodbye,
next time run backup.

System infection,
Russian FakeAlert virus,
stop downloading porn.

Don't complain to me,
your system is ten years old,
I can't fix cheapness.

Client wants update,
Tech did not fill out ticket,
Need a crystal ball.

Internet is slow,
Somebody running torrent,
Fess up you bastard.

Tell you to restart,
You power cycle the screen,
Palm strikes face so hard.

To use Linux comp,
Requires savvy user,
They do not exist.

Want to go home soon,
Whoops, server just went fubar,
Another late night.

New linux install
Graphics driver, no bueno
You check back next year

Linux, Mac, Windows,
All well designed OSes,
End users, not really.

12 gigs to upload,
Comcast upstream is horseshit,
Moving to Japan.

Help desk is evil,
Those from outside cannot know,
Madness lies within.

Six AM, phone rings,
I can fake being awake,
Cannot fake happy.

Building a server,
Every part arrives on time,
Unless it's crucial.

Phone won't stop ringing,
Tickets like a waterfall,
Smash router, silence.

Call up MS tech,
Seven hours on the phone,
Ear is falling off.

Original Reddit post by debaucherawr